It's been A MONTH since I last purchase a pack of cigarette. I did it! I would like to thank those ppl who provide me with cigarettes when I need them desperately. Will try to cut down on the number of stick to be taken from you guys. The craving will always be there when you are at home, saw someone around you lighting a stick or even when you are feeling down. Strangely, I does not have much urge to smoke during work. In fact, I smoke less than a stick through out my working of this month.

- My longest run of smoke-less: 4 days+
- The most sticks I smoke throughout the day of this month : 4 sticks
- On Average I smoke about 2 sticks per day.

Don't ask me how I got my statistic for the last pointer, I did not record down daily. That's based on average.

It's not easy I admit. It's a habit, a support and a kind of needs which you can't really replace. But still you need to overcome that addiction habit and deal with the lost of support which was not around anymore. It's still a month since I last pledged to quit. Let's not have too high expectation on me as I am a lone ranger. Go work soon. Wish me luck~.

My Leave spell will come to an end today. Quite packed on my schedule. It's enriching? lol.

25/04
Went to ECP on friday for a bicycle ride. It's almost 2 years since I last cycle at ECP. Fonds memories were there. I take that and cherish the past.

26/04
I failed my practical 1.02 on sat. It's all my fault, playing overnite Mj and proceed to ride thereafter. Abit blur and was quite disappointed with my performance. Complacent and tot Practical stage 1 wun haf failure. My morale somehow was affected. I am not giving up and will go again for 1.02. Later in the evening, went to May Day Concert @ Singapore indoor stadium. My frd happen to haf free tix, so just go since I haf nv experience live concert b4. May be the seating arrangement was not ideal, so not that 'High'? Free Tix, what you realli expect? But overall still quite interesting to be there. The last time I went Sg Indoor Stadium was during City Harvest celebration of Easter Day about 6-7 years ago?

27/04
It's Kara 4eva Ok @ Cineleisure, KBox. It's my 1st time going for K Buffet from 1800hrs to 2200hrs. The buffet is worth it! Ate quite alot while singing, it's like sing-eat mixed Marathon. Enjoyed myself and try the new song - Yang Zhong Wei , Yan Cong. Win appraises and clapping from the audience. At that few mintues of singing, I felt that I was like a superstar. Lol. The most impt thing in life is to feel appreciated in whatever things which you do. Thks pal in making me occupied and wanted. Friendship is what will see through for the rest of your life.


Heard that they are going for R21 movie - Sex is Zero 2 on Tues. The last time I went for a R21 movie was to watch Saw 3? Sneak into the theatre with quick steps. Again, memories! Thks for everything! Seriously I haf moved for now. I sit down and think again and asked myself what I am feeling. Yes, I really moved on and will take those sweet memories with me. I felt happy for myself and hope you will be fine ba. Stay trouble free and jiayou jiayou ar~!

guys! Im back from my 1st Practical @ BBDC. it's so fun when I can actually make the bike move, all by myself. it's an amazing feeling!

Entered a room where instructors' will call upon the student via stage progression. We were wearing different colour jersey. Don on the knee and elbow gear. here I go! Initially, much of the time was spend on the introduction on the specs and operation of the motorbike by the instructor. Moving off the vehicle by main stand parking by side stand, engaging of crunch lever, starter switch to turn on the engine, opening of throttle. Very interacting and knowledge packed. =)

There was this Indian gal who can't really handle the bulky bike and it collapse to the side. I helped her once and my engine stalled due to that! We move off to the short circular route using gear 1. Mishandled the bike and instructor keep reminding thru the loud hailer:

'Keep both of your legs to the engine to stabilized!'

'maintain half clutch'

'Don't brake too hard!'

So round and round, learning to stop the bike using the front and rear brake. The said Indian gal still at one corner learning the basic. =P

Riding half way through, slight drizzling and have to put on the smelly rain coat. The instructor quite humor and cracked jokes. There was once I nearly con by him. Is there a reverse gear for motorbike? What do you use to reverse? Ans: Using both of your legs.

After the practical 1.01 completed, trying to prove i'm passionate, went to book the basic theory on the same day @ 2005hrs, practical 1.02 on this coming Sat in the morning @ 0800hrs! Jiayou to me. Planning to buy a phantom bike for relaxation. hee hee..

Have to admit that life's not easy. Generally living expenses in Singapore have raised. I know being a Singaporean for now is not easy. People are living in tension, depression and stressed up without them knowing. The most impt things is to keep cool and be focused on what you really want. Don't get too puzzled in life because it was too short for you to consider and think. Stay happy and lead a fulfilled life, not just by surface but to exude from our true inner feelings.

I lost part of my life focus and was trying to pick myself up from the bottom. Things that don't kill you will make you stronger. I totally agree to that. I used that piece of set back and converted it to another form of energy and willpower. Call it a failure or another form of learning. It's depending on how you see things from a certain angle. I try not to blame myself too much and trying to lead a better life. Altot i cant certify myself as a success man. One thing for sure, I am a better man as compared to the past and emerged with a stronger personality.

Demon visited my mind once again. The sequence repeated again and again. Can really spare me off? I don't know how long it will last and how long I will take to leave those memories aside. I swear to god that I will never ever go through it again.

Sometimes I think I have high hope in you. May be I shldn't expect too much from someone I just knew. But strange to say, it's like knowing her for quite some time. Still observing but I try not to put too much hope in it. Let's be fair and be friend's ba. =)

Slept about 4 hrs and had a bad dream earlier on. I hurt someone with a dart, thinking that I can kill of him. May be I am deployed as a killer? Eventually he was chasing me from far. I panicked and run towards the main road and managed to hog on to the cab. He nearly got me! Next moment, I waken up. Strange dream, anymore can interpret the true meaning?

currently my life is all about quitting smoking and class 2B. So far, I am quite satisfied with my progress and drive. I did not purchase cigarettes for 3 weeks already. It's a lonely success, no one can really share my joy.

I am such a loser in the past. I dislike the old me and trying very hard to get a life now. I might be leaving Choa Chu Kang NPC soon. I am still considering on whether should I join the Division Investigation Branch and say good bye to my uniform? It's a great opportunity for me to get out. Greater aspect and I am able to widen my police knowledge, to see the full picture of investigation flow. From the moment the accused was arrested,to the point of prosecution and judge verdict. Will be meeting up the Chief Investigation Officer this coming In-service. I am so nervous. Some people say just try and you never know whether you will succeed. It will be a big big step across my comfort zone. Should I take the offer?

A frd of mine borrowed me his Helmet. Practical may commence soon, another of my frd is joining me, yeah! To learn bike at the age of 25 might sound silly. Alot of people was surprised to hear when I told them that, some even say I'm Siao. I don't really bothers what others said as my ears were dead.

One fine day, I might died in a Road Traffic Accident. I don't blame anyone, but just my luck. I remembered once driving at near to Woodlands Bus Interchange, almost head-on with a TIBS bus. That's closest shave! I might stopped blogging one day and you wonder why I took so long to update my entry. Wondering beside my family's, who really misses me out there. Life's always full of unprecitable event that you will never foresee what's coming ahead. Things which you don't expected to happen, might occurred without you awaring. Gradually I am able to see the full picture and came to realised what had transpired.

Ohh ya, sad to say, the continuation of car plan might not be fulfilled. Dispute broke off once again. What to do. Lately, been giving people attitude, mainly because I chose to protect myself even more after the previous set back. Finding Girlfriend's? Erm...I admit that I am lonely, but seriously I don't find a partner simply because of lonliness. I came to know that I am afraid of loneliness but seriously doesn't wish to go through all these again and again. It's time to put a full stop and fulfill whatever I want now. Gambate!

My passport is ready for collection! Finally I can step out of Singapore after so many years! More time for makan session @ Malaysia, visiting nite spot etc. My top propriety is still to obtain my Class 2b. Don't worry, my inner Engine still running abruptly. Will be reading up the theory books at nite as to prepare myself better for the evaluation.

flipping thru the pages...

(-_-)" Zzzz..Zz...zZ...

Hectic day. 4 hrs of talk @ BBDC for the Riding Theory Lesson. Greedy me, took 2 sessions in a day. It's been a while since I last sat in a room and listen to people talk for few hrs. The last time it occurred was during my poly dayz. While entering the BBDC, saw one young lady weeping. She was holding on to a slip while the other hand was on the line. Guess I know what happened earlier on.

Basic Theory Lesson will be postsponed since I can take anytime while I am having my practical. Soon will be purchasing my personal Helmet and get some long sleeves t-shirt. Time 2 start my practical! Update u guys again. Going off 2 lala land already. nite~

Leaving home in this hot weather. Almost fainted while walking under the red hot sun.


BBDC! It's cloudy on the clear blue sky. Wait for quite some time after the self enrolment. The Receptionist keep laughing at me because I am damn blur. I was freaking steam while attended by her. Anyway, went for briefing orientation rite after the registration. There's this guy who was very eager and enthu, same like me, jz enrolled. 4pm Basic Theory he's going.

Spare me off, I can't till that late and need to go home for some rest. Don't look down on me also, I booked my Basic Theory Lesson (BTL) 1.01 and 1.02 on 23 and 28 Apr, Riding Theory Lesson (RTL) both 1.01 and 1.02 tomorrow (One Stone Kill 2 Bird). I will jiayou and work hard towards my little small dream!


That's all the proof! Gonna start picking up the books and study. =/

4 days 2 hrs and 6 Mins, 5886 Mins or u can say 353160 Secs without nicotine. I am half way thru to a healthy lifestyle. I resist the temptation of smoking even on one mahjong occasion where 3 smokers was sitting around me. I did not even smoke a puff or demand a stick. I passed the test! The patch which I brought was handed over to one of my colleague who haf the thought of quitting. I can be an Anti Smoking Ambassador's in near future. I ceased the patching on 02/04/08 due to side effect.

Record Breaking Timing: 11/04/08 @ 0900hrs - 15/04/08 @ 1106hrs.

I know I can do it and was pleased with my determination and persistent in getting rid of my 6 yrs old friend's. My joy's were to be share all by myself. I spent on average about $5 a day on cigarettes,$1825 annually and $10950 for the past 6 years. Amazing figure!

Just submitted my passport application by mail after the old one was expired long ago! I wanted to travel overseas soon, that's my next stop, be it neighbouring countries or somewhere further. Tired after night shift, will be proceeding down to BBDC alone for bike enrollment NOW although I am freaking tired. Thanks for the pushing and its really works well on me. I don't procrastinate like the past. I am able to take care of myself now. I know I can live a better life and filling up my little dream and fulfillment. Here I am, setting off to the driving centre. BBDB here I Come!

我不服

放心吧我不是你的包袱
只害怕你为他走错路
你说命运是未知数
我可不可以让你想清楚
空气潜伏爱情的病毒
我这次不一定能康复
两个人赢一个人输
有快乐就有苦我心中有数

爱就这么结束
我不服
可是如果你幸福
我一定不哭
我心中大喊
我永远也不认输
但是我可以
虔诚为你祈福
爱怎么能结束
我不服
我给不起的幸福
是一种残酷
你送我一份孤独
当分手礼物
原来我和他早已分出胜负

Argh! I accidental closed down my blogging entry. All gone! Erm..lazy to type it all again and will keep it in pointers form:

- Just completed my night run
- Numbness stretched out to the whole body, It was so frustrating!
- The Anti Smoking Campaign will be ongoing just like the recapture of Mas Selamat.

I will hang on!

I was being nonsense and behaving like a fool on the Apr Fool Day. I text nonsense, tink like a fool and I know you wun reply because you haf better things to do. I am Sorry for being revengeful. I am Sorry to text you those nonsense and hope you will ignore it as I was drunk on that night. You may disappear right after that night. I am prepared and no regrets. I will live a better life for now. Started to make friend's with enemy, don't blame me.

I smk less than 4 sticks of cigarettes since 01/04/2008 @ 0922hrs. I inhaled 2 PUFF of cigarettes for the past 40hrs (inhale... exhale, inhale once again and finally exhale, that's all). I will keep on trying and never give up on myself.

Its been frustrating for me for this few days. The nicorette patch had relief myself from withdrawal symptoms of not smoking. I think I had suffered the less common side effects of urticaria. My arms which I applied the patch was feeling numb now. I had stopped applying it since today's morning and currently fighting on my own and determined to win the battle against running nose and phlegm. I feel like punching someone on the face and bite them real hard on their arms. Can anyone render the assistance? Will be running later to stop myself from thinking. I want to be healthy and evergreen!

I know I can do it. I believe anything is possible and was suprised that I am able to go this far. I don't know where I got the strength to fight on even I was witnessing the darkness side of my life. May be it's human willpower?

A brand new start comes later - 01/04/2008. It's an April fool's day for most people out there, where jokes and laughter’s were spread among others. I told you that it was not a joke to you, that’s my most sincere love to you even I do not possessed much confident in it. Two solid years ago, I stepped out from my shadow and to trust love once again. A year ago, you told me that we will spend our anniversary in years to come. 2nd, 3rd, 4th and...Much more years to come. You gave me our 1st and last Anniversary album. Sitting down on the staircase landing, where we shared and flipping thru every pages of the album, all the past memories were like Yesterday's. How thoughtful to give me that piece of memories on that special day. I will remember that all my life. That's our longest relationship till date. No one can change that statement for another year to come. There will always a hidden secret on the day we brought the ring. You will never be reveal on my secrets.

I know we will never meet again. Stop telling deceiving yourself that u r able to face me as a frd. I know you can’t because I had given you 3 over months. Deep down in my heart, I had certified you with a death certificate as you are no longer existence in my life. You left secretly on 09/12/2007. I was disappointed in you, not because you left for another guy, but done it in a quick instance. May be I don’t really know you that well as what you mentioned.

Today, I am left with 4 sticks of Cigarettes. I will start my rehab with effect from today. I can’t find another meaningful day to end my empty promise which I never fulfill. That was the last thing that I will do for you.

Thanks for leaving me with a great positive impact which I never felt before.
Thanks for making me a better person for my future.
Thanks for making me to realize that I am such a bad boyfriend’s in the past.
Thanks for spending my wonderful 1 year 8 months and 8 days with me.

Sorry for mistreating you in the past and made you gave up on me eventually.
Sorry that I can’t see you through the rest of your life.
Sorry that I cried once again while blogging. I can’t stop my tears from flowing down my cheeks.

I can’t face you as a friend’s. I had wakened up from my dream and stopped deceiving myself. You will be my Bao Bei Dear Dear for life’s come what may. You may have your darling’s or any form of address to him. I don’t care and was demanding on you. Bao Bei, I will offload you now. One day you might realize how crazy I am now. How greatly you were felt by me after you had gone. One fine day, I still hope you will say I love you once again in my ears. I know I am serious about the statement today. I will let you go now…

I will start my nicorette patching later. Wish me all the best in quitting smoking.

It’s a mixed feeling. ‘我为你高兴 为自己伤心 好复杂的情绪’ Remember 林宥嘉 - 我愛的人 and I want to remember me whenever you heard of this song. Last but not least, 一定要幸福喔。


Loves, Bao Bei Dear Dear.