26/31, hanging on and almost there.

Someone is smoking in front of me. Pissed off big time. With 26/31, I think I scored a distinction.

Dad, a habitual gambler

It's 1 am now and I just gulped down a can of beer with another just opened. Work later, got to wake up at 6 am, who cares? My brother and I loaned my dad $500 each to support him to pay '1-2' Mahjong. An unemployed man who gambles that big, I am not supportive over that. In the end, he lost almost $700. This month is a bad month with quite a big portion of my salary goes to my parents. I don't know if I am doing the right thing to allows my Dad to play Mahjong and that's his only hobby. When he is getting older, I tend to pamper him a lot and I can't bear to reject his asking because I think Mahjong is a hobby to him rather than a bad habit. When parents became older, children became the adult and reverse the cycle, isn't it? 

I have to admit that the stake is too high for a jobless person. At the other hand, I am quite hesitant to  give him the money as I am not so loaded for the month. He even dare to accept the game with relative before the loan is approved, how daring!

Dad lost the money, children are suffering. It's really unfair to gamble that big, I will not support him anymore in that aspect not because I am unfilial towards my dad. I think this is really unbecoming and I should not be so softhearted. Moreover, it is all hard earn money.

My life is revolving in gambling due my family background. My dad give me a new perspective in gambling. It is not too late to realise how much I had wasted and addicted in the past. Buying 4D with hygiene Mahjong occasionally is acceptable. Anything goes beyond that is a no no. 

Run and drink, business as usual

On Saturday, I was traveling alone to Singapore Expo to collect my race pack. It took me a freaking 1 hour and 20 mins in traveling time on MRT. Crazily spent $368 (BIG BLOOD OUT)  for the sports fare organised there. $139 for a pair of brook sports shoes, $143 for 2XU long compression tights, $36 for hydration belt and $50 to sign up for the Jurong Lake Run (10km) 2013. When anything which associated with running, I am crazy over it. I think it is relatively important for the above apparels with the shoes an additional option for run, the tights, the main benefits  is that it keeps the muscles warm to prevent muscle strain and fatigue, it may enhance athletic's performance as well. Together with the hydration belt, it will makes me look like a pro when I am running outside, attracts much unwanted attention. Hands filled up with the race pack and the booty, I hailed a cab instead to sum up my laziness.

 

The night ended with a night out at the Galaxy Thai disco. Bottom up a tower of beer with the classic end with a bottle of Martel. I was wondering how much money I had spent on drinkings on my entire life? A guy with not much hobbies with one's easily expected my lifestyle. Sometimes I think simplicity in life is a pure genius's thinking. Without sparkle at certain stage of our life, it will be too dull to live in. We would not want our life to lead to a bottleneck where everyday is like point A to B, procedure 1.1 followed by 1.2. I tend to feel that I am orchestrating this drama of my life, BORING.

The weekends ended with a perfect 10 km run without any stop. Went for an unusual running route which I never explored and nearly entering BKE expressway and had to make a big U-turn to save my embarrassment. Some road user might thought I am a crazy guy running on the slip road with the ghostly unique attire. Can you believe that I had ever run from home to Jurong East market and back. Madness me with an aim to complete the full marathon for the standard chartered run 2013, it is freaking 42.195km!

But the weekends ended with a few cans of beer and a handful of roasted cashew nuts to go along with. Routine once again as I am munching off this week with the completion 20 days of non-smoking. 

Tipsy blogger signing off now....

WORK-LIFE-LOVE, that's part of my life.

It's half a month, half the achievement done. The nicotine evil is gradually forcing its way out. To be honest, I do not have any urge in smoking and it seems to be back to normal days. Still, complacency should not stand my way. The belief is what keep you going, it forms the backbone of your goals. Without it, you lost focus and desire in achieving.

Drinking-almost-everyday is now a knotty problem to solve. Even if the office hours routine is not helping me anyway. At night, my desire to drink is on the high. At night, I am unable to sleep well and tend to wake up lifeless. I assumed that I am someone who are unable to lead a normal life. I dislike office hour job because it is too routine. Monday is too tiring to work, Friday is way too far and the cycles repeats itself. I expressed to my team supervisor that I want to go back to the team soonest but the higher management is likely to delay my loan status. Everyday I am dragging myself to work, too carefree make me a lazy guy. No one is pushing me for work, I will slack for sure. Some people like to lead a do-nothing job but I think that if you give me a 5k salary paid job just to sit down (security guard etc, confine to a restricted area), I WILL GO CRAZY. I rather earn lesser and lead a 'meaningful' life than to rot a life time. A job, I felt that it is a part of your life, you spent almost one third of your life in that, make sure it is worth spending on.

Earlier, my family went to our new flat for viewing again, to fine tune on renovation to be carried out. We have differences in the renovation cost, room allocation between my brothers. However  it is essential to come to a compromise and move forward as a family. I am looking forward to present my new flat to my friend, inviting them to my house for a mahjong session etc.

In the past, I did not dare to bring my friends, even my long relationship girlfriend to my house because I felt that it is too embarrassing to showcase my flat to them. Can you believe that my girlfriend for almost two years did not even step into my flat before. My house is in a mess and not organised. I hope that I am able to fill up the lapses in future and bring them in. I am not showing off but hope to experience the homely feel.

Lately, there is this girl asked if I have a commitment issue, I strongly felt that she has interest in me, trust me or not, it is my gut feel. Am I someone who is afraid to commit? To be honest, I am uncertain on that unless I am in that situation. I love kids to the extent that I thought of going to the fertility test to be deem fit for the next test - marriage. It's saddening for a married couple to be in love and not having the love-crystallization. I am open for an adoption if one day I am married but unable to produce. But it is still BEST to have a child on your own flesh.

ME - I am willing to get married because of kids, because they are simply too adorable and magically to experience. I pray that one day I am able to experience that moments and to find someone whom I am able to rely on, for the rest of my life. I am an extremist, isn't it?

The day where I had done a heroic stuff

The day before yesterday on Friday, was waiting for the LRT at the Choa Chu Kang Station platform. While standing stationary , one weird Chinese guy in his 40's suddenly came on my right in a very weird manner. In front of us is a foreigner (a female lady in her 20's, probably a Vietnamese) standing behind the yellow line. He was really inching towards the lady using his boby. Even a guy felt the uneasiness when it come to confront zone.

I started to notice his every behavior and closely monitor it. While the train is approaching the platform, he started to raise his left hand towards the lady's butt in a very weird manner. I swear that he will execute his act if I choose not to do anything. I started to get nervous when I was entering the train. However, I felt I need to do something when I was entering behind them. I sandwiched the duo and gently pushed the pervert guy off. I could have wait for him to commit before claiming credit to report to the police. I felt I've done the righteous movement at that spit second. I started to think I'm a busybody and but rediscovered my reason of joining the force.

While in the train, I ask the lady 'are you okie?'. I swear that if she replied in a crying state, I'll sure approach the pervert guy and blow up the matter. She just replied in a broken English by saying 'its scary'. I can feel her fear and before I alighted,I imparted the '防狼' skill to her. It's a good deed to prevent a helpless lady to fall pray to the tiko wolf. With that, it gained 37 like from my Facebook friend, some calling me HERO. Yes I'm hero, someone who is not afraid to be titles as that. :)

10 years for a wait, worth it?

The promotion list for this year is out. From expectation to realisation. Seeing people around you got promoted, a feel of envious ending with a touch of bitter. If I tell you I don't feel a thing, it's a lie. It's 9 years holding and they always say 'next year have chance'.

I never blame my fate,my doings as it was an unfortunate event which have a great impact on my career. At least I'm still able to perform and continue to look forward to. People said things that don't come by easily, you tend to treasure more.

If next year is another year without rain, how will I really response?

author,
a 10 years Sergeant

Day 9 of 31

103.50 sticks for the period between 17 March till 30 April. It's more than 10 packets or a carton of cigarettes smoked in 42 days.

Call me crazy for recording down every stick I had exhausted.

Call me nonsensical for every attempt I've made.

Call me whatever you like, but this is the strong me coming through the light.

Temptation

We call this, temptation. It's how you resist that show your true color.

Day 8 of 31

I'm less reliance on smoking when it come to drink. It's proven as I'm heading to the right direction at the right pace...

A week, hard fought victory (day 7 of 31)

Still a long to go, but I'm determined to win the battle and seriously there's no room for complacency. Finally a week, way to go!

Gaining wealth in certain ways

Just last week I received the letter of claim arising from an accident about a year and a half ago. I still remember that my friends, cousin and I were taking a cab back when we alighted one of them, another cab hit us from behind. I summoned for ambulance and try to make the matter BIG. Almost a day of negotiation with the alleged cabby, he was unable to compromise on the $400 each to us, thus a traffic accident report was lodged. Coincidentally, I was suppose to get an exemption (as well as MC) for my IPPT for that day. 3 days of MC was obtained with exemption. The doctor wrote a medical report to the law firm, indicating that all over my body were sprained and claim amount is atonishing. Blessing in disguise that the 'injuries' sustained were put to good use in future. Although the claim amount are on the high side, the law firm indicating about 70% claim is achievable and it should be finalise in two over months. Ethically, is it so wrong to claim the amount?

Claim of $19k, this is definitely crazy

This humongous glass container was a giveaway from my neighbour and it was originally used for praying purposes. I used that for coins keeping and it should be able to store a lot of coins, I have estimated to be between $5-6k. I am still very much interested in the 3rd series coin to be release by middle of 2013 and I swear to retained more than the past of $1893. The new coin is a beauty and I believe it will inspire me to save more with the help of $5 savings a day on non-smoking. 

More than 6 days without a smoke and today is the first day I am not relying on anything as the patch runs dry. When you look at the note in the container, it reminds you how much you might have lost. May be this works for me as I am someone who prefer to see the material gain in front of my eyes as SEEING IS BELIEVING. Talk great dream and vision isn't my cup of tea even it's presented on the table.

5 days and counting on (day 5 of 31)

120 hours of non smoking. I can do it, I'm gaining much more confident as compared from a few days ago. Whole of May day is nonsmoking...

Jia you tarts!

May 2013, a crucial month of battling (day 2 of 31)

Alcohol Intoxication with easy accessibility (bro's pack) will lead me to nowhere. Running nose with the lacking of nicotine. I'm living with my will power, to resist the temptation, squeezing every ouch of desperation out me. Will I ever survive till the dawn.

I'm praying hard. Find out the answer from me later.

A loud hailer announcing the bad news.

I thought that if I continued to start patching after a few puff, I should be able to kick off completely with the assistance of the Nicorette patch. I was totally wrong as every attempt has indeed, diminishes my willpower. The more attempts I had tried and failed, I will tend to less value the fighting spirits I used to possessed. I always felt so confidently that I will overcome every hurdles which obstruct me but as I was typing in every letters here, my mind is all about puffing. It was a laughing stock to present the world, a weaker me, someone who tried to influence people to quit but yet unable to convince himself.

It is just 2 days and the moments were unbearable. The patch has minimal effort on me as my demon has take over control over my body's desire. The feelings were sulky when everything is falling back to the original state. I am just a 2 days non-smoker who is so desperate for a stick at the moment. I know myself too well that I am falling into pieces. Motivation within myself will drive me through. But at the moment, I am doubtful on whether I am able to survive on this plight. My destiny is within my hand and if I ever to lose this battle, I will not quit anymore.

May the ultimate god bless me.......