38 days of non Smoking.

It's me posting here again. The feeling of it was very much similar to the time where my ex-gf left me. Then, I started posting my feelings here with the intention of letting her know what my life was.

I am still fine, starting to get over life without you after 2 solid months. I fully understand your situation. As a passerby who appeared after so long, you would not give up what you are enjoying now, youe concrete future awaits you. The risk is too much to bear, the amount of courage to lift is beyond your level of acceptance. It's not wrong in avoiding me but it was cruel. The reality is so cruel. I am simply pathetic here. You must be thinking that I am crazy over you, that was why you ran away. Nope I am not, I am just being an emotional creature who do logical things.

Some people tell me that the validity of crash is 3 months and I am left with a month to prove that point. Yeah, I'm still missing you, although the feelings are somehow faded. We said that our story is to be continued but I can say that it is coming to an end. I knew the outcome because you had stopped contacting me. Sometimes I ponder why I am doing all these for you, what's so attractive about you? Is it worth doing for someone who is not even bothering you? The feeling sucks to the bottom.

38 days without smoke and the days still running, but lately I think I am losing the battle energy against the demon. I remembered that you will quit smoking on next year's valentine day. Make sure you will do as what you promised. I will hang on to that day and tell you 'hey, if I can do it, why can't you? You better stop smoking because it's not good for your health.'

If I can save someone and improve him/her health, you will be the first. It's not easy to give up the habit but I hope that the above sentences will be my inspiration to continue the journey. If I failed, where is your source of support?

Can we talk one day?

Too much things on my mind now, I am signing off now in the early morning of Nov 20th 2010.

My Birthday is Over

What's the point of wishing me when my birthday is over. I don't mean to be harsh on you, I am sorry but I can't lift away the disappointment in you.

20 Days of smoking cessation on my 27th Birthday

It's my birthday today. I was wondering if you still remember. As what I expected, you did not plan to ask me out. Probably you were busying with your exams prepartion. I was at home, waiting for even a SMS from you, sending me wishes. You didn't. It was a massive let down and sorry for behaving in such manner because it's my 27th birthday. I feel today is one of the most important moments of the year if I can spend it with you. You didn't fulfill my little wish.

I wonder if time really faded us apart and gradually I feel that you have get yourself over me. If you're happy with your life, continue with it and I will be there for you at the other end.


No herbal tea and duck drumstick for this year's birthday, but still, take care NS....