My wishes in 2008

There are so many things to fulfill. Looking back, there are so many mission that I haf yet to achieve. I let myself down. In 2008, there will be changes in my life. Not for others, but for myself.

1) I quit. I promise myself that it will be the last time I am going to gamble. I quitted soccer betting. I learnt, really.
2) I will be getting my bike lesson, but buying a bicycle is a more realistic now. I will get it all done. I don't care.
3) Quit smoking. Thats demon, it will be very hard. But I just want to give myself another try.
4) Save up. Its time to have savings. The world's is realistic, no $ no talk. but still im not money-driven.
5) Paint my room. I said it a decade ago. It will not be so soon. It will be accompanished.

All these might look easy to some ordinary ppl. I am diff, I am a guy who suffered severly from procrastination. Its a disease, hard 2 overcome. if its a cancer, I am in the final stage. But I am not giving up on myself. I am not a promise breaker, I am not trying to prove anything to anyone. I am doing it for myself. You made me see my flaws, but sad to say, you were no longer around to see me thru. I just hope that you will be wishing me all the best from far.

A relationship without spakle might seem bored. A routine life is not everyone's cup of tea. You walked and stopped. You fall and crumbled. You got to stand up and continue walking. Thats life once again. Life's full of theory and hands-on. But hey,I am leading a normal life now and had really wake up from my bloody idea.

In the past, u know u were not fair towards me. Pls don't jump into conclusion when nothing concrete was surfaced. Lastly, thks for trusting me. I really didn't know that person prior to your phone call. Now I know and I explained. Really appreciate that you see the light in me. I simply doesnt want anymore allegation and misunderstanding which falls badly on me.

That's all I want to explain. Time to burn more fats tomorrow before nite shift. I will c how long the passion can go to achieve my healthy lifestyle. =)

Me 2 U

As long as you are happy with ur life, nothing is impt for now. If u indeed lead a better life as compared to the past, y nt continue going on. But pls dun deceive urself, pls be truthful. I really learnt from this relationship. Learn 2 b sensitive when ur gf is hinting u, u might nt know it wld b fatal in future. Don't take thing 4 granted. Thats my mistake, i admit.

Memories were sweet, on-going life is a must to lead. Loving someone is abt seeing her leading a gd life and not abt possession. I learnt, really.

I really hope one day u will nt avoid me. No more excuses k? If u chose not to contact me, I respect that. No more false hope le, really. I really don't know how long my heart will be with u. Just like nature takes it course ba.

I am back

There are so much things which I wanted to express. There are so many misunderstanding which I need to clarify. My feelings are indescribable, my thoughts somehow are sensible. I remember saying that I will be fine when the day I blog again. I finally get over with it. You may say I'm lying to myself. But I truthfully asked myself with the bottom of my heart, I had stepped across the dilemma of waiting and disbelief.

I haf to admit that I had spent many sleepless night thinking on the past. I pity our past relationship. I cried even if I am a man. I do haf the weakest side of me. I crumbled as I am not a saint.

Speaking in regards of the last SMS, u mentioned that u jolly well closed ur blog address. I felt that there is not a need to do so. But if u decided shut off, go ahead and I haf no objection. I am not a psychotic person that penetrate your daily blog. I know you prefer to project yourself as a strong woman in front of your friend's even though I know you are not. When things turn to this stage, there's really no point to see who's better and who's the loser. I really hope you will be loved by ppl ard you as mentioned in your blog. Be happy as this is the path that u chose.

It hurts when you were so mean. Remember to spare a thoughts for your future bf/ex-bf. Rem what goes around comes around. The way u r treating me now, might falls back on u in future. I don't mean to be revengeful but I believed in Karma. We r humans, we care and contribute 100%. Even if things doesn't go our way, dun be so mean. Let that person off with a path to walk.

I am not sure whether u received a missed call from my home @ 4+am yesterday nite. I dialled the wrong no. as I am so au fait with ur phone number dialing. Things change for a reason and I really accept that. The only regrets in our relationship is that I had see the wrong person. For me, when love is said, thats a promise and nv gonna change. U changed your belief. I don't blame u. Remember the next time U said I love you to someone, said that when u mean it and accepted his everything. Thats including his flaws. In the past, I accept your everything. THAT'S LOVE ISN'T IT? But youR love to me changed because you no longer abt to accept me as a whole. Take it as a lesson for us ba.

As usual, I am still someone you can turn to when u need me. I am still here okie? As a friend if u wish to put it in that way. Gd bye for now. I am tired and need a gd rest too. Gd nite 2 u.

Going for a break

Finally I am going for a break. Finally I woke up from my false hope. Ask yourself this - don't you feel a single thing when I am so depressed? Is your tears all dried up? Over the phone, I felt nothing from you. I know it was all over and I am forcing myself to accept the fact.

Love can't be explained. Relationship is unpredictable. Don't put too much in it because you never know one day you will fall down. The deeper you fall into it, the hardest it's to climb up. I had a great fall. When I tried to pull myself up with some hope, you pushes me down with your cold shoulder and harsh words. I don't blame you for being so harsh to me because I know you don't wanna give me any false hope. You want me to continue my life without you because you are happy with your current life.

That's selfish in a just ended relationship. Everyone will think about themselves first. My life is nothing concern you. Your life that you are happy with, is your concern. But I know I am not selfish. I know myself well. I do care even everything's had ended.

Don't trust anyone saying I love you forever because that person might said it when the love is that strong. Remember love is unpredictable? Love was that strong for a moment of time. There was this point of time where you think nothing gonna change. But still, love can change at any time. Love can turn to a friendship. It will be hard to adapt and believe. But that's life? Even if you failed. Don't give up pursuing. One day love can be rediscover. One day there will be hope. Let's be friend and keep an open heart.


Past was history - I know. No one can turn back time, returning back to the past. Move on tarts.

Presence is what up for grab - Let's be friend's and wish her all the best. Please don't hold her tightly because you are nobody in her heart now.

No one know what future lies - May be one fine day she will realise. May be not. But who really knows what future will really lies?

That will be my last blog entry for a very long time. I need time to reflect on my mistake and will blog again one day when I am fine. Don't worry about me. I will be fine one day.

I don't know how long it will take because I am just a lost soul for now....

My Decision

I had decided and nothing gonna change my mind. I had told you what I felt and my direction. Hope that you will not feel too troubled over my approach. I know u might accepted a relationship and dunno hw 2 put it to me. You denied that strongly and claimed that I was thinking too much. Am I realli thinking too much ?

Forget about the past, forget about whatever unhappy things happened in 2007. In 2008, I am gonna start afresh. I constantly remind myself that.