I found out your small secrets. I know u r finding my mistake in order to make u feel better and u felt guilty towards me. But bbdd, I m really alrite now and let me continue comforting myself alone. The path to recover might take months or even yrs, I dunno hw long it will takes. Pls don't feel guilty as some relationship r meant to end in this manner. I realized that u occupied so much in my heart and it’s very hard 4 mi 2 replace that empty space which was left behind by u. I am nt a good bf b4, I am not special to u but I did not betray u and will nt contact with someone whom u dislike. Altot we are nobody to each other nw but y shld i go against u? I am proud to say that I did not let u down. I am still puzzled that I was always victimized in the battle of love. I felt so tired and nt sure whether I can trust anyone once again. I am also drained up.
Thinking back, Fate's brought us together, reality of life separated us. I believe true love only come once in a life time 4 everyone. May b mine had past even I had tried to hold back, it’s too late. It’s Chinese New Year today! It’s meaningless for me, still I got to prepare now. Hmm.. Collect more Ang Bao k ?
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Silly Me
I think I am getting old as age is catching up with me. My knees tend to feel numb during the cold weather. A few days back, due to my carelessness, I slipped and fell hardly on the ground. Tell tale sign prior to that, almost slip at home. Recently my luck was so down, quite sway during work. I din get the chance 2 slp at all, almost every nite. Message after message, rotten luck. Had a quarrel with one of my colleague. As usual, he scold mi for no reason and I retaliated. I bear with his nonsense for 3 yrs and finally burst up that day. Nice people will always being bullied. Nice people will get nothing in return. Sometimes its so tired to be a Mr Nice guy. People tend to take advantage of u, I had enuff. I know we r not going to talk for very period of time, I am not giving in. I am not petty in nature, I think everyone's will haf their own limitation.
lately, there's this lady who tried to get so close to me. I was freaking scared of her! Im nt BHB and I know she is interested in me. I can feel it so strongly.Too much concern I felt disgusted. I am not ready for anyone now. I wan to be single for the time being.
I know my heart is still with you. No one can really replace you. U r unique to me, someone whom I felt I gave it all. I am still puzzled now. How can love turns so swiftly? One moment I was like celebrating ur birthday, a few months later, u kicked me off with ur cold shoulder. U forced me to back off gradually. Do you realli know the process is so empty? So lost and felt so so hopeless. Have u ever felt in this way?
I hope we can really have a good chat one fine day. Its been almost 2 months since we chat on phone with ample time. U r so occupanied and I know u will still be busy with ur things. I am still waiting your call, a call 2 let mi knw ur well being. I will wait n c.
lately, there's this lady who tried to get so close to me. I was freaking scared of her! Im nt BHB and I know she is interested in me. I can feel it so strongly.Too much concern I felt disgusted. I am not ready for anyone now. I wan to be single for the time being.
I know my heart is still with you. No one can really replace you. U r unique to me, someone whom I felt I gave it all. I am still puzzled now. How can love turns so swiftly? One moment I was like celebrating ur birthday, a few months later, u kicked me off with ur cold shoulder. U forced me to back off gradually. Do you realli know the process is so empty? So lost and felt so so hopeless. Have u ever felt in this way?
I hope we can really have a good chat one fine day. Its been almost 2 months since we chat on phone with ample time. U r so occupanied and I know u will still be busy with ur things. I am still waiting your call, a call 2 let mi knw ur well being. I will wait n c.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
My wishes in 2008
There are so many things to fulfill. Looking back, there are so many mission that I haf yet to achieve. I let myself down. In 2008, there will be changes in my life. Not for others, but for myself.
1) I quit. I promise myself that it will be the last time I am going to gamble. I quitted soccer betting. I learnt, really.
2) I will be getting my bike lesson, but buying a bicycle is a more realistic now. I will get it all done. I don't care.
3) Quit smoking. Thats demon, it will be very hard. But I just want to give myself another try.
4) Save up. Its time to have savings. The world's is realistic, no $ no talk. but still im not money-driven.
5) Paint my room. I said it a decade ago. It will not be so soon. It will be accompanished.
All these might look easy to some ordinary ppl. I am diff, I am a guy who suffered severly from procrastination. Its a disease, hard 2 overcome. if its a cancer, I am in the final stage. But I am not giving up on myself. I am not a promise breaker, I am not trying to prove anything to anyone. I am doing it for myself. You made me see my flaws, but sad to say, you were no longer around to see me thru. I just hope that you will be wishing me all the best from far.
A relationship without spakle might seem bored. A routine life is not everyone's cup of tea. You walked and stopped. You fall and crumbled. You got to stand up and continue walking. Thats life once again. Life's full of theory and hands-on. But hey,I am leading a normal life now and had really wake up from my bloody idea.
In the past, u know u were not fair towards me. Pls don't jump into conclusion when nothing concrete was surfaced. Lastly, thks for trusting me. I really didn't know that person prior to your phone call. Now I know and I explained. Really appreciate that you see the light in me. I simply doesnt want anymore allegation and misunderstanding which falls badly on me.
That's all I want to explain. Time to burn more fats tomorrow before nite shift. I will c how long the passion can go to achieve my healthy lifestyle. =)
1) I quit. I promise myself that it will be the last time I am going to gamble. I quitted soccer betting. I learnt, really.
2) I will be getting my bike lesson, but buying a bicycle is a more realistic now. I will get it all done. I don't care.
3) Quit smoking. Thats demon, it will be very hard. But I just want to give myself another try.
4) Save up. Its time to have savings. The world's is realistic, no $ no talk. but still im not money-driven.
5) Paint my room. I said it a decade ago. It will not be so soon. It will be accompanished.
All these might look easy to some ordinary ppl. I am diff, I am a guy who suffered severly from procrastination. Its a disease, hard 2 overcome. if its a cancer, I am in the final stage. But I am not giving up on myself. I am not a promise breaker, I am not trying to prove anything to anyone. I am doing it for myself. You made me see my flaws, but sad to say, you were no longer around to see me thru. I just hope that you will be wishing me all the best from far.
A relationship without spakle might seem bored. A routine life is not everyone's cup of tea. You walked and stopped. You fall and crumbled. You got to stand up and continue walking. Thats life once again. Life's full of theory and hands-on. But hey,I am leading a normal life now and had really wake up from my bloody idea.
In the past, u know u were not fair towards me. Pls don't jump into conclusion when nothing concrete was surfaced. Lastly, thks for trusting me. I really didn't know that person prior to your phone call. Now I know and I explained. Really appreciate that you see the light in me. I simply doesnt want anymore allegation and misunderstanding which falls badly on me.
That's all I want to explain. Time to burn more fats tomorrow before nite shift. I will c how long the passion can go to achieve my healthy lifestyle. =)
Monday, January 28, 2008
Me 2 U
As long as you are happy with ur life, nothing is impt for now. If u indeed lead a better life as compared to the past, y nt continue going on. But pls dun deceive urself, pls be truthful. I really learnt from this relationship. Learn 2 b sensitive when ur gf is hinting u, u might nt know it wld b fatal in future. Don't take thing 4 granted. Thats my mistake, i admit.
Memories were sweet, on-going life is a must to lead. Loving someone is abt seeing her leading a gd life and not abt possession. I learnt, really.
I really hope one day u will nt avoid me. No more excuses k? If u chose not to contact me, I respect that. No more false hope le, really. I really don't know how long my heart will be with u. Just like nature takes it course ba.
Memories were sweet, on-going life is a must to lead. Loving someone is abt seeing her leading a gd life and not abt possession. I learnt, really.
I really hope one day u will nt avoid me. No more excuses k? If u chose not to contact me, I respect that. No more false hope le, really. I really don't know how long my heart will be with u. Just like nature takes it course ba.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
I am back
There are so much things which I wanted to express. There are so many misunderstanding which I need to clarify. My feelings are indescribable, my thoughts somehow are sensible. I remember saying that I will be fine when the day I blog again. I finally get over with it. You may say I'm lying to myself. But I truthfully asked myself with the bottom of my heart, I had stepped across the dilemma of waiting and disbelief.
I haf to admit that I had spent many sleepless night thinking on the past. I pity our past relationship. I cried even if I am a man. I do haf the weakest side of me. I crumbled as I am not a saint.
Speaking in regards of the last SMS, u mentioned that u jolly well closed ur blog address. I felt that there is not a need to do so. But if u decided shut off, go ahead and I haf no objection. I am not a psychotic person that penetrate your daily blog. I know you prefer to project yourself as a strong woman in front of your friend's even though I know you are not. When things turn to this stage, there's really no point to see who's better and who's the loser. I really hope you will be loved by ppl ard you as mentioned in your blog. Be happy as this is the path that u chose.
It hurts when you were so mean. Remember to spare a thoughts for your future bf/ex-bf. Rem what goes around comes around. The way u r treating me now, might falls back on u in future. I don't mean to be revengeful but I believed in Karma. We r humans, we care and contribute 100%. Even if things doesn't go our way, dun be so mean. Let that person off with a path to walk.
I am not sure whether u received a missed call from my home @ 4+am yesterday nite. I dialled the wrong no. as I am so au fait with ur phone number dialing. Things change for a reason and I really accept that. The only regrets in our relationship is that I had see the wrong person. For me, when love is said, thats a promise and nv gonna change. U changed your belief. I don't blame u. Remember the next time U said I love you to someone, said that when u mean it and accepted his everything. Thats including his flaws. In the past, I accept your everything. THAT'S LOVE ISN'T IT? But youR love to me changed because you no longer abt to accept me as a whole. Take it as a lesson for us ba.
As usual, I am still someone you can turn to when u need me. I am still here okie? As a friend if u wish to put it in that way. Gd bye for now. I am tired and need a gd rest too. Gd nite 2 u.
I haf to admit that I had spent many sleepless night thinking on the past. I pity our past relationship. I cried even if I am a man. I do haf the weakest side of me. I crumbled as I am not a saint.
Speaking in regards of the last SMS, u mentioned that u jolly well closed ur blog address. I felt that there is not a need to do so. But if u decided shut off, go ahead and I haf no objection. I am not a psychotic person that penetrate your daily blog. I know you prefer to project yourself as a strong woman in front of your friend's even though I know you are not. When things turn to this stage, there's really no point to see who's better and who's the loser. I really hope you will be loved by ppl ard you as mentioned in your blog. Be happy as this is the path that u chose.
It hurts when you were so mean. Remember to spare a thoughts for your future bf/ex-bf. Rem what goes around comes around. The way u r treating me now, might falls back on u in future. I don't mean to be revengeful but I believed in Karma. We r humans, we care and contribute 100%. Even if things doesn't go our way, dun be so mean. Let that person off with a path to walk.
I am not sure whether u received a missed call from my home @ 4+am yesterday nite. I dialled the wrong no. as I am so au fait with ur phone number dialing. Things change for a reason and I really accept that. The only regrets in our relationship is that I had see the wrong person. For me, when love is said, thats a promise and nv gonna change. U changed your belief. I don't blame u. Remember the next time U said I love you to someone, said that when u mean it and accepted his everything. Thats including his flaws. In the past, I accept your everything. THAT'S LOVE ISN'T IT? But youR love to me changed because you no longer abt to accept me as a whole. Take it as a lesson for us ba.
As usual, I am still someone you can turn to when u need me. I am still here okie? As a friend if u wish to put it in that way. Gd bye for now. I am tired and need a gd rest too. Gd nite 2 u.
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