30 years old manhood.

30 years ago on this day at the very minutes, my mother was lying on the KK Hospital and going to delivery me at 1657hrs. The joyous moments for parents to deliver their child, the pain going through the hardship at the operating theater is no guys can imagine and want to go through.

I do not think I am a good child to say. A child who always throw tantrum while waiting to be shave, crying outside a toy shop when my mother promised to buy toy for me after a bald hair cut. That was the furthest memories I can thought of and I was just a 7-8 years old boy. My primary school text books were always second hand to my brother and I always tend to dismay over that. My parents lecture me with cane whenever I am naughty and I was so afraid then. Growing up and looking back, I got to be grateful towards my parents upbringing.

But have I being filial to them? Human tend to disregards the little but important things in life which are small but essential to us. Wait till things has gone by or someone has passed on, to sit at one corner and ponder. We jolly well know it is too late to repent but yet we go against the flow of doing the right things. If someone asked me whether I am a good or bad guy, I do not have the answer for you. Everyone will have the good and evil side of them. Situation arise in a day to day basis and the good and bad will tend to fight over a decision.

I succumbed to cigarettes buying earlier on and thought I would had puff my last stick (now!). The bad taken over control but the good inner me kept motivating myself. Sometimes it confused me when I am not sure which direction I want to head to. 0624hrs, I inhaled my last stick of the box.

The bad and the good continue the battle after my sleep. Till then, a happy 30th birthday to myself.

30. No more in my 20's (my last few moments of tasting the 20's)

Tomorrow will be another battle day. You wouldn't imagine that I'm quitting again. Seem like this topic was replicated on my numerous posts. Some people started to laugh at me already. Most importantly is to maintain the spirit and keep going. Smoking quite a lot lately and almost a pack a day, I don't know why.

Why it was picked on the 2nd of Nov? It's my 30th Birthday! I doubt anyone can remember as I'll be drifting the day away. But still preferred many wishes which beats the present. 

I'm officially in my 30's, a scary figure to say.

Total obsession, good or bad?

I have completed my boat series of collection except the $10000 which I think it is impossible to do so unless I am crazy or strike Toto.

Orchid series paint the most significant and vibrant Singapore's currency history.

Marriage

What does marriage meant to me? Simply to put it across, it a promise which I felt should be kept forever, so as long as you live. Both of my cousins got married to a Malaysian and Vietnamese. Some say I should marry a Thai to make it a multi-countries family. To be honest, at one point of time, I don't mind marrying a foreigner, considering that a Singaporean girl is more demanding. No offence to you please.


It's not that Singaporean girls are bad. Just that the Singaporean guys can't meet their expectation. I am trying to be fair and look things are difference perspective. The only worry I have is really the development of the child. if I were to get married, I hope my child are able to grow up and able to live on their own on the day where god called for me, the ultimate god. I am a free thinker.

Love should be a crazy movement. It leave on sense of logical thinking and should never be planned. I am someone who don't like to plan and live everyday as it is. Next moment I might be having cardiac arrest, at this moment my sentence might end here as I was squeezing hard on my chest.

Anything can happen as no one can predict the next minute. Everything which you can feel now is so real. Past was history, present is up for grab and who knows what future lies? I rather held on things on my hand than to imagine things which MIGHT happen. I said might.

I think my marriage will be traveling faster than lighting. The satire part is you, on the other line with someone when I was just beside that someone. She called for Police and coincidentally I was just beside my partner and nearly speak to her. 

What a small world as the world is turning back to the same place where you left.

Friendship

In good fortune, some peoples are born with many friends around them and some of which are able to go through hardship and able to share joyous moments with. To me, my friends around me can be counted using fingers. I don't find new friends for any purpose. May be that makes me quite a loner. A few months ago, I decided to forgo a friend which I knew since childhood. He was a weirdo, suffering from some kinda of psychiatric illness. Always like to lie to people of his BIG house moving and tend to invite after an empty trip for some. Friends all knew about his condition and soon after some speak bad about him and decided to break contact.

For me, I am not bad towards him as he is someone who has no bad intention on. Just that whenever he faces problem, he dare not fare me and choose to lost contact (MIA). He owes me some money in which he promised to repay. However, time and time again he failed to do so and I felt so betrayed, considering the money which I parted were all my hard earn money. Previously, I can even write off the debts which he incurred from drinking, ranging about $500-$600. I just let the matter rest and try not to be calculative towards him. After all he doesn't have any fix income and always having difficulty in repaying his phone bill, resulting in line suspension.

But the main point is that, I am borrowing him in good faith and always put myself in a bad position. When he promised to repay me, I really trusted him in doing so but turn out to be a bogus. I think I just lost my patient towards him and it over two months since we last contacted. I am not someone who is hard to get along with but some people just treat me so. Money is not a big issue but it is the money which manipulate my trust in him. Money is always a fuse to every bad relationship but that is not the case to me.

Is this friendship still worth going through?