Rock Bottom

The past seem to flashed back to memory. MEMORIES, it could be sweet in the past. However it will became moments of sadness when you start reflecting, the sweet past which could not be brought back. I dislike thinking back the past and yet I could do nothing and have no say in not reflecting. Sometimes how I wish that we don't survive on memories, at least it would not tear you apart when you are emotionally down.

The past was history and it became the revision book on today's life. How I wish to light up a cigarette but I could not. How I wish to hear from you, a word of encouragement which will keep me going but you were gone for long. How could you do all these to a fragile me, when the day you left without much saying. I am still pondering. I am awaiting for a day to tell you that I finally quit smoking and how much suffering I'd been throughout the process. April's fool day is around the corner and I will don on my clown suit and make everyone around me happy, except the stupid me. Wish you all the best at the other stage of your life.

Now I am just emotionally rock bottom and let me remains emo even if dawn is approaching.

Smooth and Steady.

it's the 18th day as of now. Progressing very brightly and promising! I need to clarify things to avoid confusion and misunderstanding. First of all, I quit smoking was mainly due to health issue. I quit not because of anyone except myself. Not for any girls, bleah bleah. No specify reason, main reason, true factor that I quit, enough is enough, sometimes things just put to a stop, without much reason given.

Generally, I felt that smoking is wasting of money and time. It will not benefit you in anyway, just the fact that SMOKING will make you feel a sense of pleasure as it causes a chemical effect in our brain and produces dopamine. Research has shown that nicotine increases the level of dopamine in the brain, accounting for the pleasurable effect the smoker experiences when lighting up. In short, it produces feelings of happiness and well-being.

I felt so left out when I went pub with smoker's friends for a drinks. All will left for a smoke over a period of time. Very odd out but at the end of the day, I find it quite worth it to have finally fulfilled my objective. Everyday when I left for home, my right pocket was quite empty and it will make me feel that I had left something at home. Very weird feel as I am going the transition period. Anyway, I have motivators around me to assist me and I will hope to achieve the anti-smoking Ambassador's award in due time. Now my turn to nag at the smokers' to quit it.

My Quote:
If I can do it, why can't you?

14/30

Spent my whole day with "C". Woke up quite early for the preparation for K Lunch @ AMK, it's been quite some time since I last sing during the "early hours" of the days. Next, went to "C" Parent's popular Laksa-Lor Mee Store @ AMK Ave 10, "C" self proclaim that it's nice and well liked by the resident. After the taste of food, I find it pretty norm to me. May be my standard on the taste for food was pretty high.

After the meal, went to Orchard for shopping. Can't imagine we actually walked a lot for the whole day. She brought me to lots of brand shop at town area, as you guys know, I am not those brand concise type, as long as it looks presentable to me, I will just grab it. Anyway, In the end only bought a Versace Men Perfume @ Taka. The smell will surely make you indulge into the Men Body Secret!! "C' also bought the Women type, which comes in duo offer, so I can say the purchase was done base on impulse. We spent quite some time sitting in a cafe and chit-chatting lots of nonsense things. A pleasant day though.

In 3 hours time will mark another historical moments -- half a month without puffing. Thanks pals for the wishes! Another saying which motivates me : 'The hardest period had past, now I just need to maintain.'

10 days of non Smoking.

It's 10 days 12hr and 50mins when I posted this blog. The strength to carry on, I felt that strong within me. I believed every smoker will stand a chance to quit if they are willing to believe that they can do it. I can't say I am a success story but that was my best ever record of non-smoking so far. I passed several routine activities that I will associate with smoke.

I did not smoke when:

- I am on duty, for the past 3 shift.
- I drink alcohol, most say smoking and drinking come in pair.
- I finished my meal.
- Playing Mahjong while others were puffing around me.


I hope to complete the 30 days smoke free period. Let's see if I can succeed. =)

8 days and going....

I have a mission to accomplish and always wanting to do it, but somehow was delaying the movements. It's 8 days since I last puff a stick, my longest non-smoking record since the day I picked up smoking. I am going it without any aid and relaying on my willpower, so far I had resisted all temptation and was going very well. Sometimes I think that things which don't kill you, will make you stronger. May be I got my strength from that department and I am very serious about quitting.

Determination and perseverance is the key to success.