Update of my ninety days

It's been more than three months since I last pen down my happening in life. it will be good if we review on life counter in a quarterly basis. At least we are able to capture the moments and able to look back when we grow. 

I was at Thailand for a vacation from 16/01/2013 - 24/01/2013 and I met a lady called 'Eve'. Eve was an amazing person whom I met there and there was so much of the emotional attachment wherever I am in a foreign land. I remember adding her in facebook and she was a helpful lady who kept sending me tons of Thai's MP3. To materialise the meeting was simply a magical feeling. 

A secret to the vacation is that I SMOKED on the last day of the trip due to drunkenness and stupidity. It's also emotional overwhelming when I felt the last day was a bad day where separation is inevitable. I puffed outside the club and Eve was so angry that she walked out from the club. 

Thank god that I managed to caught up with her after a short chase. Reconciled after some real confrontation  when both of us were drunk. Nothing happens between us and we are just friends. After I came back from Thailand, I felt so lost not due to jet lag. 19 days of non-smoking since my failure but seriously will not be thwarted by the demons . Whatever the happening there, I am still looking forward to the life style in Thailand but I know it's not possible to stay there for settlement unless I've decided to disown my parents  Eve might be someone whom I'd settled all of my vacation feeling in, she was just an illusion. 

A flight back to 'realisticity', a flight from a place emotionally filled. Packed up my feeling from a well spent vacation. Everyday till now, we still chat on Skype or Line. She's a weirdo and kept saying she's psycho towards me due to the fact that she has an ex-Singaporean bf?  May be I am just a substitute from her SG's fiction character. I should be the next chapter of her noble novel. 

BUT I still think it's better to be alone, it's better not to hurt someone again. I chose to be in my own world when BG-relationship is so tiring to live in. At the other hand, I tend to envy those lovely birds. 

What a mixed feeling I'm having but I seriously want to return to Thailand soon for some unknown reasons..........

29th

Happy birthday to me! My yearly wish is to hope that my family lives peacefully, be blessed with rich health. Cheers to my last 20's birthday!

Changing for the better

I'm now trying not to be dependant on alcohol when it comes to sleep. But it's so hard to adapt the kinda of life without it. But it takes time to change a habit, a self-discipline to maintain that.

Glimpse of her

That's how see look and I'm missing her so much. Should I give her something for her birthday? Would it like overdoing things? I'm in a dilemma right now..

4th August 2012, our 3rd meeting

We finally met each other exactly half a year later. This was the third time that I'm seeing her for about 8 months. Took a MRT train to Woodlands Civic Center while awaiting her to off work @ New York Solution. When I finally met her, she was standing there in perfection. At a moment I thought I'm dreaming when our outing was finally materialize after so long. If you still remember my post on the 6th Dec 2011, her name is Kitt, turning 21 on the 16th this month. Should I buy a gift for her on that day and if so, what will it be?

We went to Sin Rak Thai 2 pub at Princep Street together with my cousin. Bottle up a tower of beer when I know she was tired and need to head back home fast. She got a tight working schedule and It's so unbearable to see her home late. Before we leave the pub, she held my hand. I was at cloud-9. I feel like holding tighter to let her feel my strong presence. May be we are both drunk and it explains our weird move. I could not remember who was the one who start holding. It was so real and I don't feel like letting go. To my last knowledge, she suppose to have a boyfriend in Malaysia. I do not have the courage to ask her again if she has one. Someone told me to express myself when I'm afraid she might avoid me if I confessed, I'm in a dilemma. What should I do in order not to leave any regret in life? A bold confession or quietly keeping my feelings?

Regardless of her young age, I felt a sense of strong affection that no one can give me for quite awhile. I was touched with her sincerity when she was not that calculative and insisted to stuff money to me on the second occasions I'm meeting her. I was totally impressed of a woman's dignity and not reliance on guy. It's not about the money that matter but the kind of style she displaying to me. I've met woman who claim that it was a man's duty to foot bill, it that fair?

If you asked me about her, it was nothing but with all the positive remarks. She was near perfection, almost to perfection. I don't want to lose such a nice lady but what's the next step? She make me glance on my hand phone twice to see if she replied.

So, what should you do now if you faced someone who has a partner just like you?