Emotionals got charged

Lately, I got my emotional feelings back, after riding past the good old past of a relationship, listening to some old love song which can relate to the past. I remember my past 2 ex-gf, whom left a great impact on my love life. One got married with another one got missing since 8 years ago.

It triggered. It can be triggered like a sleeping volcano. The lava always beneath the volcano hill. I thought I was a robot with no feelings but I am wrong. I am a sleeping volcano. Listening to some songs which relates to the past can be astonishing and overwhelming.

I will try and sleep. Being emotional that I could not sleep. I miss them. Yup, it's them when you think I am an asshole for missing so many people. I am just someone who life in the past. I miss the old moments, the time I was with that person.

Emotionless

12 years on, my very first blog entry listed. Now, the interest on blogging on my diary seem to be diminish a little. Is it that I am having less emotions towards everything which I was doing. I am numbed towards everything.



Why I am so different from before? I guess that time changes us, our belief, mindset, perspective in life, which was beyond our control. How we feel towards a certain thing, is something which was felt on our inner self. It will change as we grow old. We called that GROWING UP.

I feel with a heavy feets when it comes to work, I tend to feel more restless during the night shift. May be age is catching up. What can I do now when I am feeling weaker now? It is just waiting for things to happen.

So much things which I hope to change, but where is the courage and determination to do so? I need some belief to stick with, some energy to keep me going. I wanted gym so much, to get a good body cause I know I will feel good and look good with that. Some many 24 hours gym coming up around my neighbourhood, should I go? Be a loner, at least a loner whom was a happy one. Yes, this I promise myself to a better health soonner.

Promotion in 1st June 2016

It should be a good thing to happen in life. Promotion to Senior Staff Sergeant is as good as telling you that your salary had increased reasonably. But to be frank, I don't feel excited over it, I was just surprised that I gotten it in two years time, it should be compensating my previous 10 years of stagnant period. I am slowly catching up with my peers.

Not much things in life that can touch my heart and make me feel something of a real deal. I became someone with less emotional over BIG happening in life. That was beyond my control, even someone around me passed away, a near miss accident which can even cause my life, I don't feel as much as my heart beats a little rapid than usual.

I don't know if it is a good thing or not but there is nothing I can do to change my way of thinking toward things in life. We changed our aspect in life and the perspective we had on a situation, sometimes even without us knowing. We aged as days goes by, bodily and mentally and the scarliest things in that we can only just let how mindset runs on the development.

One day, I might not be around. Dead somewhere due to unforesee circumstances. Let's be happy in a daily basis. May be I should be looking to do things which are meaningful in nature and I think the happiness you obtain via that manner will be much more encouraging.

Performance Bonus: B

My performance bonus is a B, which is equivalent to an over average grading, a two and a half month of bonus + $400, monetary amount which is close to five figure . I was overwhelming over the grading, given the fact that my work performance is of mediocre, in my own perspective. Sometimes if you don't expect too much in life, whichever good points came along will be an incentive.

we do have EXPECTATIONS in life for basically everything we do, feel or experience. Being low in expectation isn''t a shameful to think of. It's down to a person way of expecting things in their mind and projecting it to reality. There's no right or wrong to expect a lot and vice versa.

I have so many wish list in mind, I call that the little expectations in life

1) External Hard Disk
2) 20000mAh Power Bank
3) A Watch - Rolex Yacht Master 116655
4) Bottega Wallet

Correction, item 3 price is crazy, a $30000/- watch for first hand. Damn, I think I will have to stop drink for 10 years (37 days without drinking) before I am able to save that much. Daydreaming....

 

Rolex Yacht Master 116655 (Released in 2015)

Highnoon account SOLD off at SGD$1652

 

17th June 2015, after 8 months of building the above-mentioned account, I decided to sell of my Highnoon account (Killer Hen aka Nighthen to an arabic guy from saudi arabia, asking price of USD$1200. The transaction was completed after the amount of SGD$1652 was remitted via western union. Some told me that I had sold my account cheaply, given the time and effort put up. Spent hours over this game almost everyday, but I think it is time to offload it because this is controlling my life. Have to set my alarm everyday to wake up and play the game because of the rewards cut off time. The game is all about rewards which give me the world standing of 6th. There were days where I had overslept and missed playing the cut off period. This game is a sick game, you play in a daily compeition to complete for number 1 in the competition and it affect your sleep, energy and mood. If you lost a competition after hours of playing, you will feel angry.

 

This game will not last forever and I think it is time to let go at a handsome price. Very handsome. Tabulated from my iTunes store shows that I had spent almost $900/- in this game since 15th November 2013. At least I got back what I had spent with a little profit to go.